The Arbitrary Nature Of Fear And Worry

This article is about the arbitrary nature of fear and worry and the way that your subconscious ignores most of your ‘real’ fears in favour of just one, specially for you.

If you suffer from one of the many anxieties that modern life offers read on. From fear of being sick, fear of food poisoning, fear of fainting or going mad,fainting,blushing,needing the loo,having a panic attack,looking nervous,public speaking,being trapped; the list is endless.

Anxiety and fear is based on the idea that something bad is going to happen and that the terrible event is too awful to contemplate, it would be earth shattering and must be avoided at all costs.

Yet, is it not strange that so many different people suffer from so many different fears and anxieties, but each person suffers from just one? Yet all of them are rational, in the sense that they are all possible. Somehow the sufferer of a fear of X is very likely not to have a fear of Y, unless you have a fear of mathematics! Very rarely does someone worry about all the possible things that could happen to them. It is as if one fear is enough. We know that dreaded thing could happen, so we spend a lot of time and energy trying to reduce that possibility of that particular thing happening. Planning, avoidance and dread is the order of the day.

In my work as a therapist helping sufferers of anxiety I often ask them why they do not fear all of the other things that could happen in their life. They often respond with the confident assertion;” Oh I will deal with that if it happens”. In other words they cannot be bothered to worry about it in advance, even though the possible experience would be unpleasant and upsetting. They are too busy worrying about their own personal fear to spend time worrying about all the other ones, however possible or rational.

My point here is that the chosen fear is abitrary. The fear could be any one of a hundred possible ‘worst case scenarios’. Yet the subconscious has settled on just the one, leaving the other 99 to chance, with a happy go lucky shrug of the shoulders. We dismiss the 99.

How could this perspective help those that suffer from anxiety?

Well, it often helps to look to your strengths instead of dwelling on your weaknesses. By concentrating on your ability to shrug off all those 99 fears, you can use this fact to help build your confidence. Because you clearly are coping very well in a world of so many possibilities and have a natural ability in dealing with those 99 fears. OK, so you go weak and wobbly at your own chosen fear but look at how you deal with the 99. Resourcefulness is the opposite of anxiety and by musing on your innate happy go lucky attitude to the majority of terrible things that could happen is a confidence builder.

Try it.

Hypnotherapy In London

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Anxiety and the present moment…a contradiction.

If you are experiencing the present moment through your senses it is likely that you are not feeling anxious.

Anxiety is usually a thought about the future. Or perhaps a thought about the past that we call regret. But what about the present moment? Focus on what you can hear or what you can feel in the body and your mind will quieten down bringing down the anxieties as it quietens.

It is quite difficult to be in the moment and to feel anxious at the same time…try it. Notice that your mind will roam to other times and places but if you here and now you are probably feeling calm. Spooky eh?

The ideas behind mindfulness are quite a blow to traditional therapy which seek to do a lot of thinking about the past. For some it seems, it is the nature of our consciousness that is the issue and the source of our problems and not anything more than that.

How to be in the moment is a learned technique and not as hard as you think (joke).

The Dreaded “What If” or Living in the future…negatively

How much time do we spend thinking about the future? Christmas is coming, plans are being made, holidays booked…or dreaded!

For the person suffering with anxiety the future is a place filled with awful events that they are convinced are going to happen. The mind has already mapped out the future and it’s not looking good.

Part of effective therapy is to wean the fearful client off the habit of the dreaded ‘what if’, the mindset that bullies you into trying to avoid all those things that might happen.

People are not stupid. They are aware of what could or might or even probably happen in the future and whatever you say as a therapist cannot change that fact. The ‘what if’ thoughts are possibilities and not facts. Dragging the client away from their habit of mistaking facts with possibilities can be a big task.

Ready to think differently about the future? Why not? It hasn’t happened yet…so you can think what you like!

Hypnotherapy In London For Fear Of Flying

Hypnotherapy for a fear of flying or flying phobia is a popular use of a hypnotherapist.

If you have a flying phobia and are curious if hypnotherapy might help, do get in touch. I work in Harley St in the West End of London.

Try my website by clicking here.

Or watch on Youtube Flying Phobia Cure

Toilet Anxiety Treated With Hypnotherapy In London

The fear of getting caught without a toilet is a fear shared by many. Hear my take on how hypnotherapy can help those that have toilet anxiety.

Hypnotherapy sessions to deal with toilet anxiety usually are about building your confidence that you can control the workings of you rbody and mind.

Find out more about therapy in my Harley St clinic in central London

Or to watch on Youtube Toilet Anxiety