Existential Anxiety, Self Image and Self Esteem

If you feel you are a complete and whole human being then skip this article.

This article is for those who doubt, who seek perfection, who judge, who struggle to avoid failure at all costs, for those who feel something is missing in them. This is for those who need to justify themselves, who struggle to find proof that they are a complete and good person.

In all your shortcomings, your lack, your inadequacies, your failings, did you know that you are perfect at being a human being? How could you be anything else?

Humour me in my therapy-speak, there might be something in this. These ideas are not new but have their uses.

Indulge me for a moment.

A rock is completely and totally a rock. It does not have to explain itself or prove itself, it can’t help but be wholly and truthfully a rock. This is the same for a flower or a cat, neither need to complete any procedure in order to be fully fledged flowers or cats. Whatever happens to them they are totally and fundamentally true and honest beings. Cats and flowers come in all shapes and sizes but they cannot be anything else but themselves.

Humans have consciences and have minds that strive and create and investigate. We have the ability and awareness to judge ourselves and compare ourselves to others or what we <em>could</em> be or feel we <em>should</em> be. However, conscience is another part of being human along with attributes like Origami, basket weaving or singing (OK, birds sing but you know what I mean).

The mind has the ability to think outside the box, to look in on itself and trash what it sees with self consciousness and self criticism. Like the hoover that sucks itself up into nothingness.

However, whatever we think, we are still being human, everything we do and think is human, it is inescapable. We cannot fail at being human.

You may say (and you will.. I know you) that being human is not enough, that we should strive for being more, that inadequacy and weakness is just not good enough and it is lazy to ‘just be human’ and we have no right to let ourselves off the hook. But this striving, this effort to be more than human is simply another aspect of being human.

A flower, however hard it tries, is always a flower, a dog is no less a dog however many rabbits it chases. A dog can be a bad dog but it’s still a dog.

Why am I saying all this?

Mental health is a big issue and how we think about our self-image, self-esteem and confidence is important for mental well-being. Finding ways to be more comfortable in ourselves, to be more at peace could provide an important step for many sufferers.

It is easy to use our minds destructively, to chip away at our true nature and wholeness. The mind is so active and searching and critical that it has the ability to undermine itself and put doubt and guilt and judgement where there could be innocence and wholeness.

Acceptance and forgiveness, new thinking and imagination are cornerstones of a healthy mind. And good therapy.

This article may fail to interest you but it cannot fail to be human.

Andrew Cunningham is director of <a href=”http://www.findinghelp.co.uk&#8221; target=”_hplink”>Finding Help Ltd</a> and runs the popular anxiety magazine site <a href=”http://www.modern-anxiety.com&#8221; target=”_hplink”>Modern Anxiety</a>

The Fear Of Being Sick Often Underpins Other Fears.

Emetophobia is the fear of being sick. The anxiety that comes with the thought that throwing up would be the worst thing that could happen and must be avoided at all costs. It blights many lives because every activity has to be planned, every meal is thought through and calculated. The mind is consumed with avoiding the disaster of throwing up, even if the event hasn’t happened since childhood!

Other fears such as flying phobia, agoraphobia and eating disorders can often have the fear of being sick at their root. Throwing up seems like the ultimate humiliation and embarrassment, something to be avoided at all costs. Sadly the costs are restricting your life to a miserable degree.

So what’s to do?

Challenging the thoughts and feelings with CBT, learning Mindfulness and getting a decent hypnotherapist in is a good start.

Try this Huffington Post article on the subject.

Or this webpage on my site about the fear

How seeking too much reassurance can weaken you

I hope this brief blog piece on seeking reassurance might be of help to those suffering from worry and fear. 

There is a line that separates useful guidance and support on one hand and a destructive pattern of seeking to much reassurance on the other. When the line is blurred a person can seek more and more reassurance at the expense of building their own sense of strength in themselves, an independent spirit. 

An example of this is Health Anxiety. Getting clarification from the doctor about one’s health can be a life saving journey to the surgery and is an important part of ‘looking after one’s self’. However we can also seek (or feel the need) for diagnosis of every twinge that we get which leads to worry and fear. 

Another example is in relationships with our nearest and dearest. Sharing our concerns and worries with a loved one is one of the most rewarding aspects of human relations. However when it is taken to an extreme it can undermine our sense of self and lead to bitterness and arguments.

So how do we get the balance right? 

One answer is to accept that there is a limit to what another person (or organisation) can do for our peace of mind and that seeking reassurance is not always a healthy thing to do. Bitterness and anger might also be a sign that we are making excessive demands that will eventually undermine us. That is not to say that we should give up our ability to campaign against injustice however. 

Another answer might be to focus on the concept that the dreaded possibility that we are trying to avoid is actually something we can handle. The dreaded thing might be bad and uncomfortable but is something that can be dealt with. Being held to ransom by the thought “I cannot bear it” could haunt a person for years when the reality could be quite different. Most of the things we imagine will happen don’t happen and if they do who is to say how we might actually respond?

http://www.hypnotherapyinlondon.co.uk/

https://twitter.com/therapy_london

Anxiety and the present moment…a contradiction.

If you are experiencing the present moment through your senses it is likely that you are not feeling anxious.

Anxiety is usually a thought about the future. Or perhaps a thought about the past that we call regret. But what about the present moment? Focus on what you can hear or what you can feel in the body and your mind will quieten down bringing down the anxieties as it quietens.

It is quite difficult to be in the moment and to feel anxious at the same time…try it. Notice that your mind will roam to other times and places but if you here and now you are probably feeling calm. Spooky eh?

The ideas behind mindfulness are quite a blow to traditional therapy which seek to do a lot of thinking about the past. For some it seems, it is the nature of our consciousness that is the issue and the source of our problems and not anything more than that.

How to be in the moment is a learned technique and not as hard as you think (joke).

Hypnotherapy In London For Fear Of Flying

Hypnotherapy for a fear of flying or flying phobia is a popular use of a hypnotherapist.

If you have a flying phobia and are curious if hypnotherapy might help, do get in touch. I work in Harley St in the West End of London.

Try my website by clicking here.

Or watch on Youtube Flying Phobia Cure

Hypnotherapy In London For A Fear Of Heights

Going up tall buildings as part of your job on maybe on holiday can haunt a person.

Find out how hypnotherapy in London could help you to feel more in control so that you deal with your fear.

The fear of anxiety that you might do something weird or feel funny when you are up high is common.

Hypnotherapy seeks to give you the idea that you and not your surroundings dictate how you feel.

Try the Hypnotherapy in London site and contact me about your fear of heights.

Click here.

Or watch on Youtube Fear of Heights